I mean, there's a lot of ways this thing could go down...
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Maybe Baby
The baby thoughts have finally hit me, but mostly not in the way that you're thinking, not the ones that are all yummy smells and pudgy feet and falling asleep sitting up without requiring a trip to the chiropractor. I have those too, which Andrew ignores, because he knows only hours later I'll have visions of toddlers sprinting around me while waving small weapons and screeching about jungle gyms and demanding to be reloaded with fruit roll ups. Consequently, I remain in utter confusion when it comes to any sort of final decision about procreating, and I find myself toggling between producing a tribe and removing my reproductive organs altogether at any given moment in time. This cannot be normal, I know, and being that I'm thirty, shouldn't the sky have parted and beamed down an answer by now, perhaps in some sort of colorful capsule wrapped in a bow and titled This Is OBVIOUSLY What You Should Do?
I mean, there's a lot of ways this thing could go down...
I mean, there's a lot of ways this thing could go down...
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14 comments:
Haha, you sound exactly like me... one moment, it's all "aww, I really want a kid, they're so cute..." and the next it's "wait, no, not really - they're all loud and noisy and blah blah..". Of course usually I'm a really indecisive person anyways, so I think this might be one of those things that I'll be unsure about until it happens/doesn't happen. But it'll probably happen. At some point. Maybe. :)
I have the same oscillating thoughts, though, I already had one oops, so it's more related to having more kids. I like to think that it's pretty normal...haha.
I don't know if people are ever truly "ready" for kids. But if it's a thought you have often and think it's something you'd want some day, then you will probably need to just jump in and do it. You don't want to have regrets when you're older and it's too late, right? My timeframe is in the 30-35 range (if everything goes as planned). I'm 28 now, so hopefully some of the fears I have end up going away eventually. :)
That condom commercial was one of the best things I'd ever seen. I always smile when I see it.
I know. I KNOW. I'm right there with you. Sometimes I see a baby and my ovaries explode with NEED and other times I feel like I'd give birth to a teenager that already hates me.
P.S. I'm cooking you dinner right now. You just need to buy a plane ticket.
Also, sometimes I feel like the only woman alive who is 100% sure that she does NOT want children one day.
... And I also get sick of hearing, "oh, you're young, you'll change your mind."
You may not change your mind, and not everyone needs to be a mother. At 27, I was never going to have children. Sammy was born shortly after my 30th birthday. And I can tell you that I list motherhood as my greatest accomplishment.
And my three teenagers are the sweetest, most adorable little snuggles in the world.
Really, Sunny?! I didn't know you had your kids in your thirties... In retrospect, do you think that was a good age to start? Like, would you do it the same?
UGH, It seems like the next natural step doesn't it, yet there's nothing jumping out at me with a definitive answer of Yes or No!!
Absolutely, Kelly. I'm 49 now, and really it gave me time to get a lot of wildness out of me. I was still wayyyy young enough to chase three toddlers easily, and established enough to switch between work and mommy seamlessly. Now that they're teens, we share music, ideas, art, and even friends. And I think the later start also gave me some good ideas from the business world on how to teach them to be efficient, like chore spreadsheets, virtual bank accounts for their allowances, and vacation packing lists.
I'd do the exact same thing again, and I've advised all three of them that 30 is a good starting point. For me, it was perfect.
I am SO with you. I love my little nephew, but I'm not sure that I want to give up that much time with my tools and projects! In fact, I know I don't want to. Is forties too late for kids? lol.
I identify with so much of that, Sunny! I wasn't necessarily wild in my twenties, but I had so much I wanted to do. And I didn't feel like I had anything to offer a kidlet, you know?
Kitliz, I've had the same conversation with myself. Lately, my attitude has been "Maybe I don't have to give anything up?" I couldn't have been an Executive Director and have raise a little one (the way that I'd want to), but I think I could buy/design/renovate/rent with a bean in tow. On the other hand, I could see myself waiting until my forties, too, if we decide to have kids. I think part of that is because I would definitely consider adoption.
Kelly, I'm in my thirties, have two young kids, and still have the same feelings you have. Sometimes I wake up and think, "What were we thinking?!". :) I was never the type who dreamed about my wedding or of having children, but I love my kids more than anything in this world--even when they're driving me bonkers. You may never know when it's the "right time" (not sure that even exists), but some how it all works out (on most days). :)
PS- Love your blog!
Thanks, Mrs. Boese! And I'm taking your advice to heart.
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