Me: No. Well. I was hoping you could answer a few questions about that.
Doctor: Okay.
Me: I want to know how long we have to decide. Theoretically.
Doctor: I mean, that depends on a lot of things.
Me: I understand. But taking into account my health and medical history and stuff, you know, just level with me?
Doctor (putting down his clipboard and looking up): You know, I don't want to tell you that your biological clock is ticking.
Me: I'd like to point out that I'm only thirty one.
Doctor: And how long do you want to wait?
Me: blink blink blink
Doctor: Kelly, your biological clock is ticking.
Me: But we're not planning on trying for at least a couple of years. We don't even know if we want kids.
Doctor: And who knows? It might be super easy for you to get pregnant if and when you decide to. You've never gotten pregnant before so we just don't know. But if you wait two years, that puts you at thirty three. If a patient has trouble conceiving at that age we immediately refer them to an infertility specialist, because success rates begin to decrease sharply around then. Not to mention the increased rate of chromosomal abnormalities around the age of thirty five.
Me: But I have a neighbor who just got pregnant for the first time and she's forty. She did in vitro and BAM she got knocked up on the first try.
Doctor: Were they her eggs?
Me: I didn't look in her oven. I have no idea.
Doctor: If you use the eggs of a twenty year old than your success rate increases greatly. For some women, however, the biological component is important.
Me: So what are you saying? Be straight with me.
Doctor: At thirty three your eggs will have aged. Their time may be up.
Me: But not if we use a twenty two year old's eggs?
Doctor: Pretty much.
Silence.
Me: Andrew, how do you feel about sleeping with your secretary?
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20 comments:
This is terrifying.
But, strangely, I'm not terrified.
Me too, girlfriend. Me too.
This is hysterical!
Just a reminder: children do chores. My house is cleaning itself as we speak.
Everyone is different - I am not worried that I'm 32 and not planning anything yet. I can't predict my body - I could have been 26, tried then, and had fertility issues. You just don't know until you try. My boss's wife just had twins. Without "help" and she is close to 40. Twins b/c your ovaries can start misfiring as you get older and so might fire two eggs in one cycle. But she didn't have any issues. Sure, statistically it is better to have a kid before 30 but 35+ is happening all the time with and without help.
Chacha I couldn't agree more with your, "I'm 32 and not planning anything yet. I can't predict my body. I could have been 26, tried then, and had fertility issues." I feel very much like that myself. Also, there is no way that I (me, not anyone else) at 22 or 25 could have been the kind of parent that I'd like to be.
That said, I appreciate the doctor's honesty in terms of informing us of the risks. I think it's tricky for medical professionals to be compassionate and clinical at the same time, and I felt like he pulled that off.
ha! this killed me! you're hilarious kelly ~ love when blogger shows that you have a new post.
just take the plunge - you'll never ACTUALLY be ready, sometimes you just have to do it.
Melissa, your new adorable one is quite convincing!
hey, if you don't even know if you want kids why worry about it. you shouldn't have one just because your eggs are getting old. that's like eating the last piece of something because it's going to go bad and then eating it and being unhappy that you ate it because you didn't really want it in the first place. i'm just sayin'
Agreed, Alison. So that's what we're trying to figure out. Do we want kids? If we do, how? When? Why? Why not? I feel like it's a good time for us to think about those things.
Haha, love it. Since Tom is in medical school at the moment, I'm also getting a medical education - about the whole doctor side of patient interaction and diagnosis. It seems that doctors tend to talk to patients about things in terms of percentages for the general population. Tom reminds me of this everytime I come up with some example - like getting pregnant no prob at 40, for example - to point out that whatever suggestion/diagnosis/recommendation is not always true.
So yes, you're clock is ticking - but if you're not ready, you're not ready. People do conceive when they're older - it does happen.
But of course then the real question is: will you ever be ready?
~Chelsea
hahaha...yall would have beautiful babies!
Aren't you sweet, Brooke?! We could only hope!
DELETE your blog? that's like saying a naughty word! how could you do/think such a thing? you have READERS and COMMENTERS! now me, on the other hand. i should delete mine. i have 6 readers (and i don't even know if they actually all read) because only you and 1 other person actually comment... HA
It's gotten even better since the baby was born! I love hearing about all of the things you're learning and your take on motherhood. The ridiculously cute baby pictures don't hurt either.
But, yeah, I go back and look at what I posted the day before and most times have a WHAT WAS I THINKING moment.
I will be TICKED if I try to get pregnant at 35 and realize I've probably always been infertile. Oh, all the unprotected sex my husband and I could've had...
Katie, TELL. ME. ABOUT. IT.
Just do it...or at least try. I had this same conversation with my doc... then my husband. We were always iffy about it. Then we tried, it worked and I thought "God help me!". Then we couldn't have predicted a loss or the year and a half it took of actually trying to get pregnant again. Do it when it's fun and scary at the same time because if you wait to long it's just scary. I started trying at 27 and didn't have my sweetie until 29 with a little intervention, a lot of grief.
Interesting perspective, Crys.
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