That's some of what it takes to manage a little sprucing up over here these days. I spent nine and a half hours trying to hide that debris. Covering up Watergate was probably easier than this.
Anyway, I was cleaning up for a visit from these lovely folks.
Those are Andrew's parents. Aren't they sweet looking? They're just as nice as they look, too. They'll be here all week but, since we'll be out and about most of the time, it's not slowing down the renovation.
Oh, and remember that door that I fell in love with? Well, he's up.
Not bad, eh? Here are those Before + After sketches that I took five minutes to jot down for your reference.
New door, no more Fugly Vents. Thank goodness. So what do you think?
On a side note, Andrew recently pointed out to me that the word fugly is a combination of fucking and ugly. Who knew? Kind of ruined it for me.
Before + Progress is an ongoing series keeping you up to date on whatever project is currently occupying our time. There is still lots to be done at this point to make the Progress photos actually qualify for the coveted After stage.
Double click on the photos to enlarge. Yes, I most certainly have Progress Pictures to share with you. I do. But first let's discuss Very Important Things.
Fortunes and butterflies.
Behold...
That is the fortune that P.F. Chang's bestowed upon me for lunch today.
Quite appropriate, don't you think?
When I first busted open the cookie I wanted my money back. All it said was Carrot. Then Andrew pointed out that I was reading the Learn To Speak Chinese side. Which explained the HongLuo Bo written beneath it. So I flipped it over to reveal this little treasure.
Wise, old, insightful P.F. Chang's.
Ahem.
Moving along.
Let's talk butterflies. No, not the pretty, fluttering kind that I spent an entire day of Girl Scout Camp making a net to capture in only to end up spending half of that summer using said net to catch toads in the creek with my brother. Toads that we would stick in our socks and tie around the handles of our bicycles and take home to my mother. Who would scream, "Get those out of my house RIGHT NOW!" and make us disinfect ourselves outside with the hose.
No no no, not those kind.
The kind in your stomach. The ones that you get when someone delivers big, huge, life altering news wrapped up with a pretty, white bow. Or says the dreaded, "Why can't we have a serious conversation?" Or takes the liberty of putting themselves into the address book in your phone. Without your permission.
I call them Adrenaline Butterflies. Or, Nervous Butterflies. Or, Did That Guy Really Just Throw His Keys Across The Closing Table Butterflies. Or, I'm Jumping Out Of A Plane Butterflies. Or, That Is In Fact A Panther On My Porch Butterflies. Or, CALM THE HECK DOWN You Can Delete Him Later When He's Not Looking Butterflies.
Those ones. You know the kind.
Anyway, I have them. The Butterflies. Bad. But that's not the weird part. What's odd is that I've had them -- get this -- all day. ALL DAY LONG. For hours. HOURS. And, I ask you, what do I have to be nervous about?
Not a single thing.
Nada. I have no excuse. For the first time in, oh, TEN YEARS OR SO I am completely and utterly relaxed. Calm. Mellow. I actually let people say the entire word goodbye before I hang up the phone. I don't feel anxious. I don't feel nervous.
So what's with these butterflies?
And as if that isn't enough, there's more to thicken the plot. I took your advice -- Waaaiiittt a minute, you say, You WHAT? That's right. Don't look so shocked. I totally took your advice and saw a chiropractor. Aaand guess what? It proved what you've suspected.
You are, in fact, smarter than I am.
And so was the chiropractor.
Actually, he was a genius. I've seen chiropractors before (two, if you're asking) but nothing -- nothing -- came close to this David Copperfield of a doctor. He was brilliant. It was like he single handedly lifted fourteen suitcases stuffed full of bowling balls and Chicago bricks (they're really the only kind to pave with, are they not?) and removed them from my head, shoulders, and neck with a few well executed Mr. Miyagi type dance moves. The fact that he hasn't yet received a Nobel Peace Prize or Nike sponsorship should be the subject of public outcry. If his wife didn't work the front desk (and my vision was somewhat less inept) I may have kissed him right there on the spot. Really. The relief was that good.
Anyway, besides working his magic on my vertebrae, he also took my vitals. And guess what? High blood pressure. High blood pressure. Me?! (If you follow this blog, than you know that I'm an avid runner, workout junkie, and pretty darn healthy overall.) The only time that I've ever had high blood pressure is when I was working eighty hour weeks. But now? High blood pressure? Butterflies? What in the world is going on here?!
I'm relaxed. I'm not stressed. I'm not anxious. For me, this is slow motion.
High blood pressure and chronic butterflies. Seriously? Seriously?!
What do you all think? Anyone out there who can offer some insight?
Doctors? Nurses? Psychics? Mr. P.F. Chang?...
All right.
No more random babbling. I shall give you what you came here for.
On with the show...
So remember how I told you that we're ripping out that bi-fold door (the photo on the left) in The Kitchen and replacing it with a vented door (the photo on the right) in The Dining Room?
I thought it might be helpful if I took a few minutes to sketch a little floor plan for your reference.
Above is what it looked like when we bought the house. You can also see where that vent we're replacing is located.
And this is how we're whipping it into shape.
It leaves a nice solid wall for additional counter space in The Kitchen design.
Contractor Bobby (Doug's father) has already installed the vent in the door and he's working on the hardware now.
Luckily, he had a large collection of old plates and knobs for us to choose from. Isn't that nice?
This is not a contest to see how many times I can say "Wow."
Let's not forget the fireplace.
Below left is what that fireplace looked like yesterday, and on the right is today. I know how much you all LOVE that fireplace.
He's a 10-month-old English Bulldog surrendered by a local military family here in Jacksonville. He has already had his (approximately $1000) eye surgery (that most English Bulldogs require) and been neutered. (Plus, I'm sure his adoption fee is much more reasonable than the $1500 we paid for Man-Man.)
I came across a little something this morning, and I'm curious to get your thoughts...
Did you use something like this when you were planning to get preggo?
They estimate that for the average American family a child costs approximately $200,000 before the age of 17 (in other words, without including the cost of college). I've heard averages upwards of $1,000,000 before, so this figure seems a bit low to me. What do you think? Is this sort of calculator realistic?
And for those of you who don't have children, are these numbers something that you'll take into account if, or before, you do?
Before + Progress is an ongoing series keeping you up to date on whatever project is currently occupying our time. There is still lots to be done at this point to make the Progress photos actually qualify for the coveted After stage.
Double click on the photos to enlarge.
Ta-daa!
Okay, the Ta-Daa was a little uncalled for.
I admit that.
I know it's not much yet. We're still plugging away...
We've started patching those vents.
We tore out the arch above the entrance to The Dining Room.
And the fireplace makeover has begun (to the deafening cheers from all of you seated in front of your computers).
Plus, we framed out that scary bifold door to The Gun Room, I mean Mechanical Room. And don't forget that we're blasting through The Dining Room wall to make way for the new door. (Doesn't blasting make it sound so dramatic? Think Mission Impossible or 007. And, yes, I do my own stunts. As if you hadn't figured that out yet.)
Door! I almost forgot to tell you about the new door!
Here's what I'm most excited about today...
Our contractors were able to score us this 1920s interior door to match our other existing doors throughout the house. It will be tucked into the left side (if you enter through the arch) of The Dining Room. The bottom panel is being replaced with a filtered vent. They pulled this out of a pad that they're demolishing in another part of town and were nice enough to give it to us for free! Fuh-REE!
Freeeeee!
Isn't that swell?!
Cheap Kelly + Free Door = Balki's Happy Dance
(Two points if you know who Balki is. Two more points if you know how to dance in a turtleneck. Or breathe in a turtleneck, even.)
I should have more progress for you in the next couple of days. Andrew's parents are visiting next week so we've offered up our firstborn in exchange for the contractors working day and night until his folks arrive. They said that with our genes they'll pass, but they did take us up on a Starbuck's run.
So we're good, I think.
See Part 3 here. See Part 2 here. See Part 1 here.
Look what I almost killed myself with a few minutes ago. Absolutely no joke.
Doug discovered it when he was patching those vents, and initially he thought it was ours. Which it's not.
Oh, say hello to Contractor Douglas.
I'm hoping that there's some crazy cool back story to it. Like the previous owners from decades ago weren't really the boring attorneys and rug shop owners we were told about, but pirates or bank robbers or undercover spies. And we're going to find a bag of loot or a chest of booty. Or something.
Just as long as they weren't hunters. Or serial killers.
Pirates and bank robbers are fine.
Click here and here to read about other interesting and strange things that I've found left behind in properties.
UDPATE: Andrew called the police as a precaution, and a very nice officer just came by to pick up the gun. He said that he had a call not too long ago where the owners found an old, bloody infant's shirt while doing work on their new home. He said that the FBI is using it in the investigation of a missing child from decades ago. Then he asked if I'd found any bodies. Which was a bad joke. I hope.
SECOND UPDATE: Clearly, there is not enough crime in our neighborhood. Officers are collecting in our driveway and coming through the house chatting and looking at the work we're doing. It's like a block party with a lot of blue. Don't threaten me with a good time.
This Is Love is an ongoing series showcasing products or services we dig. Don't worry, we're not being bribed to expose any of these; it's just stuff we're truly crazy about. If you have something you love that you'd like to share, please email me at kellymuys@yahoo.com.
I saw this image at Design Sponge yesterday, and ever since I've been obsessing over floor to ceiling bookcases coupled with rolling ladders.
Okay, I lie.
I was obsessing over them way before I saw this image, but the fact that Contractor Douglas is on his way over to patch over those horrific vents (as well as get started on my new fireplace design, demolishing that arch to the dining area, and punching a hole in the wall for a door) makes me realize that I need to commit to what I'm going to do with that big, blank canvas of a wall that he'll be leaving behind. And you all know how I am with commitment.
I need to come up with something brilliant, or at least passable, since it's A Very Important Wall -- the first thing you'll see when you enter our home. I've toggled between a collage of my favorite framed sketches or floor to ceiling bookcases. I'm also considering low bookcases with art sitting on them and hanging above them.
If I did floor to ceiling bookcases wouldn't a rolling ladder be superb?! There probably isn't enough room and even if there was I'd probably find a way to fly off of it and break my back, but still.
I know I've already reached my quota of dogs posts for the day. Week. Year. Whatever. But Lauren's comment on this post is just too important to not address it with everyone.
"I'm not terribly informed about puppy mills, but if you are a person who wants to 'save' the poor little things, wouldn't you be all right buying and then taking them to the vet for a full health checkup? It absolutely breaks my heart that these puppies live like this, and then if no one buys them are likely put down."
I'm pretty sure that this is a common misconception. The dogs purchased in pet stores are generally the offspring of puppy mill dogs. Their parents, that are kept in nightmarish conditions in puppy mills for the purpose of breeding, are often killed or left to die when they can no longer reproduce. Most of them are in such terrible shape after being severely abused their entire lives that they can barely function. These are not the dogs that you see in your local puppy shop. They are often never even given the opportunity for a home. Never given a chance to roll around a bed, to fight over a sock monkey, or to even have a family. Can you imagine never having a bath, sleeping with a blanket, or receiving a hug in your entire life?
It's horrific.
The main reason that it's so important not to purchase a puppy from a newspaper advertisement, website, or pet store is because many of those organizations are supplied with puppies bred in puppy mills. Without demand, we put those folks out of business.
I've included a video that will help better explain the atrocities that happen in puppy mills. I would really appreciate if everyone would take a moment to watch it. I know it's sort of lengthy, but please watch the entire video if you can.
This website also provides startling and important information about what happens to the dogs that come from puppy mills.
If any of you have any experience with puppy mills, dog rescue, or animal abuse I'd love to hear your thoughts.
When I posted this yesterday, Lindsey commented, "I want a dog like this so bad! But my husband would kill me if I spent that much on a dog. He is adorable!"
Thanks, Lindsey. He gets his looks from me. Well, except the hair. The reddish tint is Andy's.
Andrew and Manny having a Very Serious Talk.
All kidding aside, Lindsey brings up a great point. Dogs are expensive to purchase, especially breeds like English Bulldogs, Italian Greyhounds and Labradoodles (or whatever the heck Satchel is).
Both Slate and Manny were purchased from breeders. Manny was $1500. Slate, an Italian Greyhound, was around $2300. Both of Slate's parents were award winning show dogs, which is why he was a bit pricey.
Slate has had severe blood issues, kennel cough, several illnesses, and over $5000 of dental work. Manny is young, but we have been warned about the significant costs that are associated with the hip dysplasia, eye disease, and breathing problems that most bulldogs develop as they age. Both Manny and Slate have irregular heartbeats which require yearly monitoring with echocardiograms. Each echo costs approximately $500.
Like Slate, Zoe is also a purebred Italian Greyhound. In 2002, when she was 2 years old, I adopted her from The Humane Society in Fort Lauderdale. She is a year older than Slate. The adoption fee was $75. Satchel was also adopted from The Humane Society. They found her roaming the streets of Miami a year ago. Since we adopted her as a puppy, her adoption fee was $250.
Both Zoe and Satchel were very easy to train and are in fantastic health. Zoe didn't experience her first major health issue until she was 10 years old. It was a kidney stone that had to be removed surgically, costing under $1000.
Because of the costs, health problems, and difficulty in training, English Bulldogs and Italian Greyhounds are among the highest surrendered purebreds in the United States each year. There are literally thousands of great dogs purchased by people who weren't properly educated about what their care would require. These animals desperately need homes, and many of them can be yours for hardly anything. Plus, a lot of low cost clinics will offer discounted care for adopting one.
I think that many people somehow assume that a dog given up for adoption is either incorrigible or has something wrong with it. This is so untrue. Dogs are often surrendered because of the owners inability to care for them. It has nothing to do with the disposition or character of the pet. Zoe and Satchel are just as affectionate and playful as Slate and Manny (and, dare I say, better behaved?).
Keeping that in mind, I don't think that we'll ever purchase another dog from a breeder. (And we would never ever buy one from a pet store. If you're even considering it, please read this.) There are just too many homeless dogs that need good families.
If anyone else out there is considering taking in a new pet, please please please choose adoption. There are rescues for nearly every type of breed. Mixed breeds make incredible friends, too.
Doubt that a shelter dog can make your heart beat as fast as a pampered puppy? Well, I get at least one email a day asking where we got our Mystery Dog.
We were taking a little stroll down our street yesterday when the subject of housework came up. Here was our discussion (you may ignore my unruly mullet)...
It got me wondering, are we the norm? How do you divide the housework in your home? What are the chores you loathe? Are your domestic roles a conscious decision or did you just fall into them? Who do you think ends up doing more? What are the chores you wish your partner would do more of?
And, the most important question, have you figured out how to get your mutts to pitch in? (If so, please email me RIGHT NOW.)
In the eighties, I was a little kid who put together model buildings out of notebook paper and Scotch tape and spent days on end playing Monopoly with my best friend. What I've done over the last decade is pretty much the same thing. I began buying, renovating, and renting dozens of properties during Architecture school, where I mostly learned how to stay awake for six days straight.
Today I'm a new mother married with four dogs and way too many houses along the coasts of Florida. We recently moved into and began working on a three story lake house built in 1928.