What The?

I shouldn't keep having conversations about The Kitchen in every single post if I'm not going to share pictures. I get it, you guys. I do. You post pictures of your toilet all suited up with tulips and gold rims, while I sit here living off s'mores toasted over Glade candles (sadly, I'm not even kidding) and whining about people who don't know how to order cabinets.

And it's totally true, but I've also been busy with a number of new projects, which I know will have half of you thinking, But you said you weren't taking on new clients! while the other half of you couldn't care less and are just hanging around for The Kitchen pictures and free beer.

SO WHERE ARE THE FLIPPING KITCHEN PICTURES?!

I'd love to post them today, but they're marinating. So maybe Monday.

Otherwise, it will be some time after that.

If you still care by then.

Can You Believe There's More To The Story?

You Will Not Believe What's Going On

So I got them to come and install the correct doors today. It was a feat that required seven phone calls, a waffle breakfast, and a small truckload of sticky sweet charm.

Then disaster struck.

Before I tell you how much I hate them, let me explain how it got to this point.

After the whole delivery debacle I checked and double checked with the Thomasville representative, the order expediter, and two managers and all of them assured me that the hinge locations on the new doors were fine, totally fine, STOP BEING SO PARANOID ABOUT THE HINGE LOCATIONS, KELLY, THEY'RE EXACTLY THE SAME ON THE COTTAGE DOORS.

Well.

They're trying to install them right at this very moment.

AND THE HINGE LOCATIONS ARE NOT THE SAME.

Cottage Doors

The buttfugly Linden doors were supposed to be replaced with the Cottage style ones today. SUPPOSED TO. But they rescheduled.

Thanks, Thomasville.

One Of These Is Not Like The Other

I've installed granite countertops time and time again, but never two different types at the same time in one kitchen. Not one, but two different stones. Which means twice as many opportunities to change my mind. I know.

ISN'T THAT FUN?!!!



On a side note, this post was supposed to be an ironic little funny story about a toilet paper war and Andrew's rear end, but when he found out what I was up to he promptly put the smack down in the form of an internet gag order.

Latest Happenings

1. This piece of wood is from the original Kitchen, and I found it all chipped up and abused in a debris pile waiting to be hauled away. Go ahead and just process that for a second, how over the last few years my life has gone from sleeping in pants suits to digging through trash with paint in my hair. LIVING THE DREAM, man.

2. The other morning I was minding my own business when Andrew called all frantic and hyperventilating. He'd signed up with a group of guys from his company for something called The Warrior Dash, a three mile obstacle race that involves hay bales and beer and helmets with horns. And jumping over fire. "Oh, by the way," he said, "I entered you, too."

3. If I had countertops or running water or cabinetry doors that didn't look like ass it might be easier to cook in The New Kitchen. But that didn't stop me from whipping together our first official meal since the renovation, Bacon + Basil Wheat Pasta. It was delicious. And you couldn't even taste how bad the Linden doors look.

Before + Progress Pictures: The Historic House By The Water: Kitchen, Part 11

So, we started painting The Kitchen yesterday...

Contrary to the photos, it's Mourning Dove by Martha Stewart AND ONLY MOURNING DOVE, not four different colors that appear in shades of grays, greens, blues, or browns depending on where you're standing, what time it is, and how much you've had to drink. I woke up this morning, stumbled downstairs and went right into cardiac arrest when I saw how morose it looks right after sunrise and now I'm all panicky and FUHreaking out and I'm wondering, did I make a ginormous mistake? Yes? No? Just a smidgen too Italian motor scooter?

Argh. Man. Please please please say that you love it all over and then some, because I'd really rather not repaint. As in I'd rather light myself on fire. COMMENT THAT YOU LOVE IT.

You can even email me later, and tell me you love it some more. Because I held a paint roller over my head for twelve hours yesterday, and I have no feeling left in my shoulders. Or neck. Or back. Or hands. Or brain.

So tell me that it's good. That every single one of it's fourteen shades are perfect.

And while you're at it, ignore the horribly evil Linden doors. That aren't being replaced for five to ten business days.

How To Save On New Kitchen Appliances

I've gotten a number of emails lately asking for specifics about where and how we were able to score such good appliance deals for The Kitchen. Here's a recap.

We bought the commercial grade Undercounter Built In Stainless Steel Summit Refrigeration Freezer units on Ebay through Admark Products. The Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price is $4437 for three units. We paid a total of $2150 (including shipping), a savings of $2287. It took about two weeks for the units to arrive and I love them.

The KitchenAid Classic Series Stainless Steel Dishwasher came from Lowe's and was delivered next day for free. The MSRP was $799. We paid $375, a savings of $424. Installation was not included.

Last, of course, is the stove that we found the other day at Aggressive Appliances in Orlando. It's a Stainless Steel Whirlpool Gold Double Oven that was listed at MSRP $1449, though it was on sale at Lowe's for $1100. We paid $599. Our savings was $850, and they also threw a cord in for free. Andrew happens to be in Orlando for business today, so he drove instead of flying and will load it into the back of the X5 before he heads back, making our shipping charges zip.

I estimate we saved around $3500 on our appliances, which is probably a bit better than I usually do. I chalk the good deals up to the economy and Andrew's bargaining skills. The stores weren't exactly bustling with business.

All of the units are brand new, undamaged, and come with twelve month factory warranties. I never buy additional extended ones, though the warehouse in South Florida that I usually buy from often adds them on for free.

If you're looking for the same finds, my main recommendation would be negotiate everything. To work down the price, use things like shipping, installation, discontinued models, cash or purchasing on credit to give managers the opportunity to meet any quotas that they might carry from their corporate offices. The more you help them, the more they'll be willing to help you.

Also leave your information with anyone that you meet with in a store and encourage them to contact you if what you're looking for becomes available at your price point. If you don't have time to hit up a dozen places, call, email or fax them offers. It's an easy way to ask them to match competitor's prices too.

One last word of caution is to pay close attention to internet pricing. On Lowe's website in particular, the pricing will vary based on what zip code you're researching your products through, even though it's not supposed to. I discovered this was happening because I have properties in several different zip codes, and I often do research based on the closest location to the property, for the sake of convenience. If you notice a discrepancy like that, bring it to the attention of the company and they should honor the lowest price.

I think that's it. For some additional ideas on how to save on appliances, go here.



This post is linked to The Thrifty Home's 55th Penny Pinching Party.

Before + After Pictures: The Historic House By The Water: Hallway, Part 1

So this is how we're handling the laundry and shoe overflow around here.

Check out some detail shots.

Happy Manny

TAKEOUT BALANCED ON KNEES = FOOD ON FLOOR = CANINE DYSON



The only family member of the house who is thrilled by The Kitchen delays.

Colossal Oops, Actually

Get ready for a funny little story.

After weeks of waiting for our Thomasville Cottage cabinets to arrive (which is fine for someone who has, like, patience) I have to say that I was ready to kiss the delivery man when he got here, if only I could imagine that he wasn't five feet tall and smelled like gas station pork rinds and treated me as if I was supposed to be cloaked in a dark colored head scarf. He was also exponentially rude.

So we didn't make out.

Anyway, I loved how they delivered the cabinets by throwing them on our front lawn while the truck was still in route, but Andrew's favorite part is how the order is completely and utterly incorrect, like someone was playing World Of Warcraft and picking their nose instead of figuring out that Cottage doors are not even in the same family as Linden style ones.

Not even in the same universe.

So now we have a pile of boxes sitting in our Kitchen that look like they were ordered by a person who says things like, "But they're transitional!" and "I'm a designer!" AND YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE HOW MY PATIENCE IS TAKING THAT.

I found out that it was at least a thousand dollar mistake, after five or six phone discussions and one meeting in which I threatened to chain myself to the factory floor until my order was corrected, free of labor or materials or delivery charges. Within a week.

And it took about an hour and a half, and a phone call from Andrew, but finally, FINALLY, the Thomasville representative got back to us and was all, "Shit. Oops. We'll have to fix that."

BREAKING NEWS: There Will Be Casseroles

It was inevitable that baking was going to worm it's way back into our household. I searched high and low for a machine that wasn't overpriced or ugly, because it's impossible to cook on something that makes you want to vomit.

I spotted this Whirlpool Gold model at Lowe's when we bought our dishwasher, and it was listed at $1449. Please notice the double oven. It means that you can bake a roast and eight ramekins of creme brulee at the same time, right after fetching your husband's slippers and taking the curlers out of your hair.




The store moved it to the back this week and replaced it with this year's new model which is priced at $1749, which means that the display model was on the chopping block for a ridiculously low $1100 and Andrew was all, "Perfect. Done," and I was all, "Not so fast, Trigger," and he was all, "All right, let's just keep eating canned tuna for a few more weeks," and I was all, "$1100 isn't so bad," and he was all, "Great! Done!" and I was all, "But then again, no, because I'm cheap and $1100 is too much," and he was all, "WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU?"

Just then the manager walked up and said, "I'm open to $950 if you'll get out of my store." Not really. She just said the first part, but she was probably thinking, Security! Which is why it makes total sense that Andrew was able to negotiate the price down to $900. And I really hate to admit this, but when a manager agrees to a price in a store, I never take it, until they've called at least two other managers and physically shuddered from the grotesquely low price tag that we've agreed to.

Don't worry, I make sure to buy decent volume so they don't kill me.

When we'd spent fifteen minutes getting them down to $900, we thanked them and walked out the door, and then BOOM an hour later they called and said, "We can do $850! We can do $850! IT'S GO TIME!"

And I might have happily paid that $850 for that $1449 stove, the one that Andrew was two seconds away from shelling out $1100 for, but moments before I'd found it at a high end close out warehouse in Orlando for guess what? $599. $599!

DONE!

Before + Progress Pictures: The Historic House By The Water: Kitchen, Part 10

Yoo-hoo. You can see more Before + Progress posts over this-a-way.

Lots of work has been done recently.

I promised myself that I wasn't going to show you all of the yumminess that has gone down this week, because seeing the new travertine floors and extra french panel door and floated walls and exposed pine beams would ruin all of the After shots in our not so distant future.

It's a good thing I lied.

See Part 9 here.

See Part 8 here.

See Part 7 here.

See Part 6 here.

See Part 5 here.

See Part 4 here.

See Part 3 here.

See Part 2 here.

See Part 1 here.

Before + After Pictures: The Historic House By The Water: Master Bedroom Closet

Our postage stamp size closets in The Historic House By The Water are not that interesting, but I couldn't resist sharing this meager transformation with you.



There's something about freshly starched men's shirts lined up neatly in a cedar closet that makes me positively giddy.

Which probably means I should take up drinking or something.

The bars are from Martha Stewart, the drycleaning bag is from Walmart, and the belt thingy is actually a key hanger from Home Depot. I also installed little Hampton Bay lights next to the door frame so that Andrew doesn't leave the house for a big meeting wearing pants with a broken zipper only to end up in the bathroom for ten minutes during lunch with a big client who thinks he has diarrhea after he runs to Walgreens for safety pins and gets laughed at by a couple of transgender teenagers and when he leaves he has to go to the airport with his button down shirt untucked and a prayer that the metal detectors won't zero in on his crotch.

I think he appreciates them.