If I Could Sit Down With Me On New Year's Day Ten Years Ago This Is What I'd Tell Myself

1. Dump your boyfriend.

2. This will be the worst year of your life. It will take a long time before you feel human again.

3. It's also the beginning of an incredibly wonderful journey. There are so many amazing opportunities right around the corner. And when things get better, they get SO. MUCH. BETTER. Like meeting Richie Sambora and not peeing on him better. I promise.

4. You meet one of the loves of your life this year. His name is Slate and he’s a nine pound Italian Greyhound. He will be the only one who ever sees every single one of your projects. And he'll serve as a great litmus test for future boyfriends. Because you need to dump this one.

5. This year changes everything. EVERYTHING. Accept that you will never be the same.

6. Don’t feel so insecure at those parties. They're meaningless. You’ll find out soon enough how many of those people are faking it. And FOR CRYING OUT LOUD stop making conversation by asking what someone does for a living. It embarrasses trust fund babies.

7. You have no idea that you’ll only be practicing architecture for a short while after graduation next year, and that what you’re learning right now is the basis for everything that you’ll do over the next decade. But it is. And none of that is being taught to you in school. So don't worry about all of those classes you've been skipping.

8. Try to relax and smile a little more. It will turn out better than you can even imagine. Really, it does.

9. Dump your boyfriend.

10. You’re growing your hair out. Thank GOD. Don’t cut it that short again. It looks terrible.

11. Be kind to yourself. The next few years are going to be extremely difficult. You’ll need every ounce of your strength, mentally and physically. And a few good bathing suits. Go for Brazilian cuts.

12. This year you’ll be introduced to a guy named Virgil who hires you to tweak several aspects of the design of his new restaurant, including the logo and signage. You'll completely scrap what he brings to the table and come up with a fresh take that includes a stamped stainless steel concept, which you’ll hand over to him for approval. After that he'll stop returning your calls and won't pay you. Next year, you’ll see that very same restaurant open and become one of the most popular new eateries in East Fort Lauderdale. And YOUR sign is front and center. And on every single menu and advertisement.

13. Because of that you'll learn a lot more about contracts this year. PAY ATTENTION.

14. Don’t get so frazzled when contractors or employees or two hundred year old condo commandos treat you like you’re twelve. You look like you're twelve, so what do you expect? Sometimes no matter how much respect you offer, you won’t receive it back AND THAT’S OKAY. So stop whining about it. Either buy a tailored power suit or fire someone. In the future you’ll do both. Effectively.

15. Dump your boyfriend.

16. When you go to the Bahamas in May you’ll pass on donuts in the airport, because you think your thighs are too big. I’ve seen the pictures from that trip and you look like a starving crackhead. ENJOY A DONUT ALREADY.

17. You'll burn off part of your calf on a Triumph and everyone will tell you that you're scarred for life. You're not. Throw some Vitamin E on that bad boy and it'll heal in eighteen months.

18. You grow up so much this year. But you're still painfully naive. You can count the number of times you've been in a bar on one hand. South Beach overwhelms you. And that's nice.

19. It will become clear near the end of this year how bizarre your life has become compared to many other twenty one year olds. Which may be why most of your friends are in their forties. Just don't forget that you're only twenty one once.

20. DUMP YOUR BOYFRIEND.