Because heartless and evil are two of my best qualities, I waited until I had one foot out the door, and then I casually mentioned needing to "stop by the bank for some singles" and that I "might be home pretty late" and that "lap dances aren't crossing the line, are they, because I couldn't remember if we'd ever talked about that sort of thing in the past?"
No, nevermind. I think that they're fine for today.
Only when all of the blood drained from his face, did I confess that it was actually a spa day with massage therapists, and that they would need to be tipped. And, NO I SWEAR THEY ARE NOT that kind.
He believed me. I think.
Especially since I haven't been chained to the kitchen sink and whipped with a metal pipe while being forced to recite my wedding vows and make a pot roast and fetch his slippers.
Yet.
p.s. You wanted to see the stash in it's original state, but I didn't get any photos of it, because the scene was just too horrific. Anyway, here are some of the surviving victims in line at the washing machine.
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6 people chimed in:
Its like the commercial from Kia, before they came to life and became cool driving that SUV..
Heh. I always liked that commercial.
i'm impressed that the stuffed animals are all intact. Our dog is a little freak that likes to dismember them one by one.
Um I think I love you. That story entertained me, thank you.
but wait... then no strippers? bummmmmer. We had an "interesting" stripper for a bachelorette this summer and we pretty much had to ask him to leave after like 2 hours hahaha. ohhhhhhhh fun times and strippers that try to rape all the girls.
OMG... Posts like this are why I love you, Kelly. By the way, I am totally jealous of your hydrogenouses... they are just as pretty as all the hydrangeas I drool all over at the grocery store. = )
P.S. I have never seen you do one of these things, but I did give you a blog award at my little insignificant and far less hilarious blog.
Carol
antiquetexan.blogspot.com
Thanks, Carol!
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