Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Could Have Been Worse

Andrew and I are kicking our house hunting into high gear for obvious reasons, one being that his grandmother and my mother were

both.

born.

twins.

There's no indication that I'm carrying twins, just to be clear, but then there's no indication of much at this point, except that I'm now an entire cup size larger. And I'm not supposed to go extreme water rafting.

Don't ask how I found that out.

Anyway, since there is little in the way of new real estate inventory, we've been driving around stalking For Sale By Owners, and have even taken to pulling the car alongside perfectly unsuspecting strangers and asking if they'd be interested in selling their homes. Or if their neighbors are interested in selling their homes. Or if their neighbors' neighbors are interested in selling their homes. Or maybe we can just pitch a tent on their porch and claim homestead?

I am with child and all.

Last weekend we were doing our usual For Sale By Owner circuit and I noticed a house that's been sitting on the market since before we moved to the area, almost two years ago. It had steadily dropped it's price around $150,000 during that time, but it recently dropped it another $50,000 more. I still wasn't sure if the numbers would work, but I thought we should go take a look at it anyway. Just to see.

We set up a showing, and from the moment we stepped inside we were in love. It was nothing like what we'd expected. The entire back of the house was glass that opened up to a lake. Six bedrooms. The most amazing studio. Beautiful materials and incredible views. Three year old roof. Private beach access. It was unbelievable, really. We were blown away.

And the owners. They were sooo nice. They were sooo nice. Like, the kind of people you want to invite to dinner and have cigars with nice.

Right then I was almost sorry we'd seen it, because, you know, it cost a bazillion gazillion dollars, and we're like a trillion gazillion short. But that's when they said, "Oh, and by the way, we just dropped the price another $100,000." And we were like, yeah, we saw you had another big price drop, and they were all, "No, ANOTHER, $100,000." Shut up.

A couple of hours later we wrote up an As Is offer.



It was still $60,000-ish off of their asking price, so when they called us the next evening to let us know they were accepting it without even countering we were stunned. And ecstatic. We were having the week of our lives! We hit the ground running, and by the morning I had inspections lined up, contractor meetings planned, insurance quotes on their way, and all of our paperwork ready for our lender.

I love where we live now, but I couldn't wait to move.

And then.

The inspections came back.

That roof? The one that was three years old? Was actually six years old and leaking. EVERYWHERE. So badly that it had begun rotting away the sheathing. There was staining all over the place, with the worst parts being around the chimney, the last place I'd ever want to battle with a leaky roof. It was apparent that at least one person was aware of the situation, because someone had tried to cover the ceiling stains with white spray paint. Which isn't very nice.

But that wasn't all.

The house failed the Wood Destroying Organism report. Not just failed it, but failed it miserably. As in, the entire bottom four feet of the exterior would need to be removed and entirely replaced. That's a motherload of wood rot for a house that was built in the eighties.

The thing is, alone these repairs only add up to around $15,000. Not enough money or work to scare me away, and the seller even offered to take care of it or credit us. The problem for me is that these are major red flags for a relatively young home. And there is a better than not chance that we'd end up rebuilding the entire structure. Or finding black mold lining the walls. Or be replacing a $50,000 six year old roof.

In the end, we walked. Actually, we ran.

It stinks, but it's better than the alternative. So, it's back to the drawing board.

In other news, I made the painful decision to man up and take photos of the growing tadpole. These are three and six weeks of progress, which is mostly bloat. Allison, who asked for them, squealed for five minutes straight after I told her the pregnancy news, finishing with, "You're going to get so fat, and it's going to be AWESOME."



I love best friends.

Anyway, here's a shot for those of you who prefer, you know, clothes.



That's it for now. Let me know if you have a beach house you want to sell for ten bucks.

11 comments:

Leslie @ NE Portland Bungalow said...

Bummer about the house! Good luck on your hunt. And with your pregnancy!

Rolerkite said...

whhhat is this? I forget about the internet for like 2 minutes and you get knocked up? Holy Moly fertile myrtle, congratulations!

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Smart move. Run like he'll from trouble houses! Been there, and it never ever ends n

Melissa I. said...

Wow - they were so nice, huh? - and SNEAKY! Come on, buy our sh*&hole of a house!!!

Katy said...

That really surprises me that a house that young has those kinds of structural issues already. Interesting.

And by "interesting" I mean like I just saw a hand sticking out of somebody's purse.

aBroad said...

We have had these experiences in the past, with sneaky sellers who think they can hide trouble .. I am surprised that I have been able to avoid smacking at least one of them upside the head for being so dishonest plus assuming I am that stupid.
Serves them right if they never sell and the place collapses ..in a rainstorm. .
You have a little bitty belly... how beautiful is that ?!
besos. C

chacha said...

Man, I take a blog-reading hiatus to find that you have a bun in the oven. Congrats! So much for that 6 months, huh? You must be fertile Myrtel ;o)

This housing mkt is so weird. Media keeps saying it's bad, blah blah blah, but we have very little inventory and things are selling rather quickly. Granted, prices are still low, but whatever. Still seems a bit like a sellers market.

Miss Chelsea said...

OHMYLANTA. you're WITH CHILD?! I am soo behind. Dangit, there goes my hopes of ever having the cutest baby(-ies) in blogland. We all know who will take the cake (ahhem her name rhymes with smelly)

Deb said...

You're going to be one of those beautiful pregnant people, I can tell. As someone who did NOT glow and expanded in every possible direction with both of my kids all I can do is sit back and blow raspberries at you. ;)

I'm so excited for you!!!!!!!!!!

Amanda- Hip House Girl said...

I swear- I ignore the Reader for like 2 seconds (okay, maybe like a week) and all this big stuff happens! You are already a cute pregnant lady (even though you look about like I do after eating a large burrito) and I can't wait to see more more more! And just so you know, I am already expecting the most amaaaaazing nursery and am already planning on modeling my own after it (the fact that I have no idea what it will look like and am not expecting a baby anytime soon is irrelevant). So no pressure. I may be just a little too excited. I came over to thank you for that lovely comment you left on my blog and ended up reading several previous posts. I love that story you told about Henry. And I loved that it was foreshadowing your next post. :) The biggest congratulations to both of you!

Katie @ Domestiphobia.net said...

Yeah, I was getting a little suspicious when it sounded like they were so eager to get rid of the place. Don't worry -- the right baby will come along before your baby comes along. :)

By the way, let me know if you want me to come take baby pictures on a trip down to Miami to visit my sister -- I've been getting some good practice on my pseudo niece you can check out a post or two down on the blog. :)