Monday, April 9, 2012

Twenty Five Things I Hope To Teach Aston

1. Always replace the toilet paper when the roll is empty. It's called being prepared.

2. At some point an ahole will offer you a cigarette. Look him straight in the eye and say, "No thanks, I'd rather not die." 

3. Don't use the word ahole, because it makes you sound like one.

4. Open doors for girls. And while you're at it, hold them open for boys, too.

5. But don't be a doormat.

6. Take care of your body. For the most part it's irreplaceable.

7. Rely on your charm and intelligence as survival skills.

8. Never judge a person by where they live or what they drive. Unless it's a Smart Car. Then you can judge a little.

9. Be generous without any expectations of anything in return. Donate often. And (when possible) anonymously.

10. Listen to your father. Except if he's giving you wardrobe advice.

11. Don't tell lies, large or small. They're unnecessary.

12. Say please and thank you.

13. Always spell correctly. Even when texting.

14. On the subject of texting, don't ever send naked pictures of yourself through a phone or computer. Ever heard of Anthony Weiner? Google it.

15. But don't use Google to learn about life. Read books. Talk to your grandparents. Listen to cassette tapes. (Yes, cassette tapes. Seriously. Google it.)

16. At times you will fail. Often even. It's okay. But don't expect that anyone will be as upset about it as you. Learn and move on.

17. See as much of the world as you can.

18. Try to understand what other people need.

19. But that doesn't mean you have to give it to them. Don't commit to a girl unless you're really, really, really, really, really, really, really sure (especially if either of you are under thirty).

20. The same goes for tattoos.

21. Always cheer for the Chicago Cubs. And visit Wrigley Field often. Take your dad.

22. Dance in the rain. Play in the mud. Roll in the grass. Forget that you're wearing your good shoes.

23. Familiarize yourself with tax laws. Have a relationship with an accountant you can trust.

24. It is not okay to run in the street after ice cream trucks. Unless you're chasing your father or getting me a Fudgesicle. Then it's fine.

25. We love you. If you learn nothing else, know that we love you.


Melissa I. said...

I LOVE THIS LIST!!! Excellent advice, Momma!

Amanda- Hip House Girl said...

With advice like this, I'd say he's going to turn out just fine.

NotesFromAbroad said...

You are so young to be so wise.
ditto about the ice cream truck ..and # 25 is amazing how obvious this is and how hard it is for some to see it.

emily said...

I love this list. I would only change the Cubs to the Brewers ;)

Hartwood Roses said...

I was nodding my head the whole time I was reading your list. This is very good advice for anyone!

Life in Rehab said...

Brilliant my dear, and it's so easy to stick to your guns when it comes to the loves of your life.

Deb said...

You are gonna be so good at this parenting thing ;)

Deb said...

You are gonna be so good at this parenting thing ;)

Lynett said...

This is perfect

Lynett said...

This is perfect.

Tasha said...

Love this list. What great rules to live by. I adore #21. It's such a great little piece of tradition to pass on to your child.

Cindy @The Flipping Couple said...

This is really beautiful. I think Aston got pretty lucky in the parent department.

Caroline @ The Feminist Housewife said...


chacha said...

Everytime I see a post in my reader from you I am hoping to see or hear he has arrived. I'm sure you're probably more ready to meet him than the rest of us are! Ha!

Love this list. My husband is a huge Cubs fan. That's why we've been to AZ spring training 4 different times.

Cass said...

I have a confession & huge apology to make. I tried to find your email to message you separately to this posting and failed!

In response to your comment on my wee, tiny blog I realised that I called Aston "Ashton". A major naughty- I hate when people get my name wrong. So the apology- I am so sorry I got your wee ones name wrong, please forgive me ;o)

Tasha said...

Wondering (as I'm sure everyone is) if the long absence means that you've had Mr. Aston. Sending warm wishes your way, either way.

jeanette from everton terrace said...

That was perfect. perfect.

Reenie said...

I've been checking in and wondering to if Aston is here. I hope all is okay.

Katie @ said...

1. This post is beautiful.

2. Haven't heard from you in a while, so I'm assuming you've popped the kid out. I hope everyone is happy and healthy!!

3. I have an 8-week pregnant friend whose husband deployed -- you guessed it -- just shy of 8 week ago, and she's suffering from horrible nausea. Like... all the time. I thought that sounded a bit like your ordeal, so if you have any advice/tips I could give her on what to eat/not eat, I'm sure she'd greatly appreciate it. :)

Stephani said...

I hope everything is well with you and the little guy. Can't wait to meet him! :)

KellyMellyBoBellyBananaFanna said...

Amanda, we hope so.

Candice, the ice cream truck is probably the wisest advice we have. Aside from Andrew's dance moves.

Deb, fingers crossed. FINGERS CROSSED.

Tasha, the nachos are what keep me coming back. And the Chicago dogs.

Cindy, aw. Thank you. You're nice.

Chacha, nope, he continues to elude us.

Stephani, it's been a bumpy week, but we're still baking. Any day now.

NotesFromAbroad said...

Every day I check in to see if you are still waiting and how you are.
Good to see you .. one of the good things about being pregnant, it never really lasts forever .. even when it feels like it :)

KellyMellyBoBellyBananaFanna said...

It definitely feels like it right now!

NotesFromAbroad said...

Has the young man turned around or are we expecting the doctor to help with that ?
Have some chocolate syrup on your ice cream for me, I know it will be a chore but do it for me, thank you. besos.

Christen said...

I love this post so much. :)

Belinda said...

This list is amazing and perfect. I giggled and I'm choked up with tears. I'm saving it for my own baby one day. I'm also taking it as advice for myself.

Awesome :)